How to Get Your Spouse to Go to the Doctor
By
Dr. Scott Olson, ND
Posted March 28, 2024
The other day, a friend asked me if I thought her husband was trying to hide something because he wouldn’t go to the doctor.
It’s a common scenario, I told her—research shows that many men avoid preventative care and doctor’s visits. (Some women are guilty of it, too.)
But what if your spouse is clearly under the weather or has concerning symptoms and REFUSES to go to the doctor?
When you care about someone, it’s difficult to stand by and watch them neglect their healthcare needs. But pushing TOO hard can backfire, making them dig their heels in further.
The good news is you don’t have to bite your tongue entirely. You just have to use the RIGHT approach.
Following are my top tips for gently encouraging a loved one to finally make that appointment:
Lead with compassion, not frustration: Feeling frustrated when someone won’t listen to reason is understandable. But harsh emotions will only make your loved one fight back.
Instead, approach the conversation from a place of caring, not judgment or grievance. Tell your wife that you’ve noticed she seems really tired all the time. Or tell your husband that his back is still bothering him, and you’re worried this could negatively impact his health down the road.
Suggest a specific type of appointment: Rather than just saying he should “go to the doctor,” suggest visiting his primary care physician for an annual check-up or discussing any specific issues he’s been having.
Some folks associate “the doctor” with emergency rooms, dire situations, and hospital stays. To avoid triggering a fight-or-flight response, keep the conversation focused on a simple check-up, which is often less intimidating.
Emphasize PREVENTATIVE care: Get ahead of any serious illnesses by focusing the conversation on early detection and prevention.
Gently remind them that catching any potential health problems NOW means less intensive treatment LATER. Stress that even if they feel fine, preventative screenings are vital for long-term wellbeing.
Offer to go with them: Make yourself an ally by offering to accompany them to their appointment for moral support.
Your presence can make a doctor’s visit feel far less intimidating. Offer to drive them there, wait in the lobby during the exam, and then debrief over coffee or lunch after.
Don’t nag or issue ultimatums: As tempting as it may be, avoid repeatedly nagging your spouse or giving harsh ultimatums to get your way. This will likely just cause them to shut down and could damage your relationship.
Practice patience and understand they may need time to psych themselves up for a doctor’s visit.
Set a good example with your OWN care: Show them how routine doctor’s appointments are by staying on top of your own health care. Keep up with recommended tests and exams to model responsible preventative behavior.
Seeing you take charge of your own wellness can inspire them to do the same.
The key is to create a supportive environment where they feel cared for, not criticized for their avoidance. Take a teamwork approach and tackle the issue TOGETHER rather than making it an adversarial ordeal.
With compassion and encouragement, you can guide them toward getting the medical care they need without stress or drama.
If they’re still resistant despite your best efforts, consider talking to your doctor, pastor, or a marriage counselor for further advice on how to break through the barrier.
P.S. Is your spouse saving your life? (You’ll be surprised.)
Written By Dr. Scott Olson, ND
Nearly 25 years ago, failed mainstream medical treatments left Dr. Olson in constant pain – and his health in ruins. And that’s when he did something REVOLUTIONARY. He began his career in medicine – and dedicated his life to uncovering the true, underlying causes of disease.
Through his innovative medical practices in Tennessee and Colorado, Dr. Olson has helped cure countless seniors from across America of arthritis… heart disease… diabetes… and even cancer. All without risky prescription drugs or painful surgeries.
View More Free Articles
Build a Stronger Immune System at Any Age
As we age our immune systems need a little extra TLC to keep us healthy and strong. But don’t worry, boosting your immunity doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. In fact, some of the best immune-boosting strategies are simple habits you can incorporate into your daily routine. So, let’s dive into some tried-and-true tips...
Natural Solutions to Snoring
Regardless of whether you’re the snorer or the unfortunate bedmate, snoring is a source of stress for countless couples. The endless, rhythmic, sawing sounds can disrupt the rest of even the deepest sleepers. But before you resort to earplugs or separate bedrooms, let’s explore some natural ways to tackle snoring. Snoring isn’t just annoying. It...
Shedding New Light on Depression with this “Sunlight” Hack
You’ve likely heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This form of the blues hits as the leaves fall and the days grow shorter. Well, new research reveals that the same therapy that helps many folks battling SAD feel better could be a ray of hope for those fighting other types of depression, too. Here’s what...
Mailbag: Reverse Atherosclerosis Naturally? Science Says Yes—Here's How
“What actually reverses heart clogging?” -Heartfelt Hi Heartfelt, I have good news. We used to think reversing arterial plaque buildup or “heart clogging” was impossible, but now we know better. When my own patients ask me about atherosclerosis (the medical term for clogged arteries), I explain that—while complete reversal can be challenging—research confirms that specific...
Study Pinpoints Foods That Send Disease Risk Soaring
We’ve all heard that old saying, “You are what you eat.” Well, it’s been around for so long because it’s true. And it turns out your dinner plate could secretly stoke the fires of disease in your body. A new study revealed a shocking truth about the American diet. This time it’s not about calories...
Feast Without Fear of Packing on the Pounds
With all the festive feasts and indulgent treats this holiday season, many of us are already bracing for the inevitable battle of the bulge. But is holiday weight gain really as unavoidable as we think? Let’s unwrap the truth behind this seasonal struggle (pun intended). And I’ll share some simple strategies to keep those extra...
PLAY Your Way to Better Brain Health!?
Are you convinced video games are just for kids? Well, think again! A remarkable new study suggests that playing the RIGHT kinds of games could help turn back the clock on your brain, improving cognitive performance, memory, and more. The best part? You probably already have everything you need to get started—right in your pocket…...
'Tis the Season for A Tumultuous Tummy?
The holiday season is in full swing! And you know what that means… lots of festive food, drinks, and—indigestion. But you don’t have to let a bubbly gut crash YOUR Christmas party. I’ll share some simple hacks to help you keep the festivities going… The holidays are brimming with celebrations and plenty of rich food...
These Morning Rituals WILL Change Your Life
We’ve all heard the saying, “The early bird catches the worm.” But what if the early bird could do more than just catch a worm? What if those first few hours of the morning could set you up for success, improve your health, and boost your overall well-being? Welcome to the world of transformative morning...
Study Reveals We’re Breathing in Dangerous Chemicals
Think about the last time you stepped outside or even sat in your home with the windows open. Well, what if I told you that you’re likely breathing in toxic chemicals that could harm your health, no matter where you are? A recent study out of California warns that airborne toxins, called plasticizers, are everywhere....