Steak, Liquor, and Bug Flour: Living Well Visits Expo East
Dear Living Well Daily Reader,
Last week, the team from Living Well busted into the biggest natural health product expo on the East Coast, Expo East. (They were too busy working out to think of a decent name.)
This year’s event featured everything:
And… the post office?
As Jasmine LeMaster, our chief quality control expert, said, “You know the post office is struggling for business when they start advertising at a health expo.”
Unfortunately, they didn’t have any delicious samples.
And they weren’t even the strangest booth, either. One group showcased their flour made from… well, I’ll let you decipher the secret formula from this photo:
Mmmm… cricket flour.
And yes, the proprietor’s shirt did read “Crickets are the gateway bug.”
I didn’t hear the story behind his arm cast, but I’m assuming has to do with the fact that it’s dangerous being a “bug bealer.” *Rim shot* (Get it? Drug dealer?… Never mind.)
Actually, cricket flour sounds pretty darn good. Certainly more healthy than the regular stuff. Unfortunately, not everyone featured as nutritious a product as the one presented by the clever folks I photographed. In fact, most were downright lousy.
I had to shake my head every time I saw someone bragging about their gluten-free, organic pastries. As if that somehow forgives them being nothing more than a carbohydrate bomb. After two days of this, my neck started to hurt (from the head-shaking).
One lady roped me and Laissez Faire Today editor Chris Campbell into an endless pitch about the wonders of her book, which started with something sensible (phytonutrients being healthy) and then quickly veered into vegan propaganda. I smelled a rat (a tofu rat, of course) as soon as I flipped through her book and saw the giveaway phrase: plant-based.
“Ah, s***,” I muttered.
After some more page flipping, I saw a reference to the infamous rabbit study that sparked the whole “eating cholesterol is bad for your heart” myth. Here’s the short version: A mad Russian scientist named Nikolaj Nikolajewitsch Anitschkow fed rabbits cholesterol… and the rabbits developed atherosclerosis. Now, a sensible person would glean one takeaway from an experiment like this: Don’t feed cholesterol to your pet rabbit.
But some bozos figured this applied to humans as well.
I couldn’t help but interrupt the lady and say, “Um, I was just looking through your book, and I couldn’t help notice there’s some stuff I disagree with. For instance, this rabbit study on cholesterol. The problem is… rabbits… aren’t… humans.”
She wasn’t swayed, and soon Chris and I moved on.
Speaking of not humans, this expo was also where the now-famous photo of yours truly was taken by Chris. The weirdness later gave him nightmares. I have to admit, it’s pretty easy to see why:
Hey, Chris… How have you been sleeping lately? Eh?!
When the clock stretched into the dark hours of 4 p.m.… the liquor began flowing:
That’s a rapidly emptying bottle of bourbon.
When I mentioned the early happy hour to the editor of our Natural Health Solutions newsletter, Brad Lemley, he remarked, “Nobody drinks like people in the mass-market, shelf-stable “health food” industry. Living a lie takes its toll…”
I’ll wrap things up on that note. Eat some steak. Drink some liquor. Maybe visit the post office. In that order.
Have a good weekend,
Underground Health Researcher
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