How to Get Your Spouse to Go to the Doctor
By
Dr. Scott Olson, ND
Posted March 28, 2024
The other day, a friend asked me if I thought her husband was trying to hide something because he wouldn’t go to the doctor.
It’s a common scenario, I told her—research shows that many men avoid preventative care and doctor’s visits. (Some women are guilty of it, too.)
But what if your spouse is clearly under the weather or has concerning symptoms and REFUSES to go to the doctor?
When you care about someone, it’s difficult to stand by and watch them neglect their healthcare needs. But pushing TOO hard can backfire, making them dig their heels in further.
The good news is you don’t have to bite your tongue entirely. You just have to use the RIGHT approach.
Following are my top tips for gently encouraging a loved one to finally make that appointment:
Lead with compassion, not frustration: Feeling frustrated when someone won’t listen to reason is understandable. But harsh emotions will only make your loved one fight back.
Instead, approach the conversation from a place of caring, not judgment or grievance. Tell your wife that you’ve noticed she seems really tired all the time. Or tell your husband that his back is still bothering him, and you’re worried this could negatively impact his health down the road.
Suggest a specific type of appointment: Rather than just saying he should “go to the doctor,” suggest visiting his primary care physician for an annual check-up or discussing any specific issues he’s been having.
Some folks associate “the doctor” with emergency rooms, dire situations, and hospital stays. To avoid triggering a fight-or-flight response, keep the conversation focused on a simple check-up, which is often less intimidating.
Emphasize PREVENTATIVE care: Get ahead of any serious illnesses by focusing the conversation on early detection and prevention.
Gently remind them that catching any potential health problems NOW means less intensive treatment LATER. Stress that even if they feel fine, preventative screenings are vital for long-term wellbeing.
Offer to go with them: Make yourself an ally by offering to accompany them to their appointment for moral support.
Your presence can make a doctor’s visit feel far less intimidating. Offer to drive them there, wait in the lobby during the exam, and then debrief over coffee or lunch after.
Don’t nag or issue ultimatums: As tempting as it may be, avoid repeatedly nagging your spouse or giving harsh ultimatums to get your way. This will likely just cause them to shut down and could damage your relationship.
Practice patience and understand they may need time to psych themselves up for a doctor’s visit.
Set a good example with your OWN care: Show them how routine doctor’s appointments are by staying on top of your own health care. Keep up with recommended tests and exams to model responsible preventative behavior.
Seeing you take charge of your own wellness can inspire them to do the same.
The key is to create a supportive environment where they feel cared for, not criticized for their avoidance. Take a teamwork approach and tackle the issue TOGETHER rather than making it an adversarial ordeal.
With compassion and encouragement, you can guide them toward getting the medical care they need without stress or drama.
If they’re still resistant despite your best efforts, consider talking to your doctor, pastor, or a marriage counselor for further advice on how to break through the barrier.
P.S. Is your spouse saving your life? (You’ll be surprised.)
Written By Dr. Scott Olson, ND
Nearly 25 years ago, failed mainstream medical treatments left Dr. Olson in constant pain – and his health in ruins. And that’s when he did something REVOLUTIONARY. He began his career in medicine – and dedicated his life to uncovering the true, underlying causes of disease.
Through his innovative medical practices in Tennessee and Colorado, Dr. Olson has helped cure countless seniors from across America of arthritis… heart disease… diabetes… and even cancer. All without risky prescription drugs or painful surgeries.
View More Free Articles
Losing Your Locks? The SURPRISING Solution
There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Losing your hair sucks. The hit to your self-esteem is no joke. You might even find yourself avoiding mirrors and hoarding hats. The treatment options are limited, often come with a laundry list of side effects, and deliver results that are about as predictable as a coin flip. It’s...
REAL Drug-Free Back Pain Relief
Recently, I’ve had several exasperated people ask me, “Is back pain something I just have to live with?” I battled chronic back pain for years, so I completely understand why some folks feel so hopeless about finding relief. In fact, I used to think I was doomed to a life of pain and limitations, too....
Mailbag: When to Worry About Memory Lapses
“I’ve been experiencing some memory lapses recently, and I’m worried it might be early signs of Alzheimer’s disease. My mother also had it. What symptoms should I look out for?” – Ann Hi Ann, It’s important to recognize that some degree of memory loss is a normal part of life. Our brains constantly process and...
The Unforeseen Link Between Your Gut and Your Waistline
As the weather warms up and summer approaches, many of us start thinking about shedding those extra pounds… We dust off our gym memberships, stock up on salad greens, and vow to finally fit into those shorts from last year. But what if I told you that the key to achieving a healthy weight might...
Defy Aging with the Sunshine Vitamin
If there’s one thing you absolutely must do for your health, it’s to maintain healthy vitamin D levels. I can’t stress this enough. And if you think vitamin D is only good for beefing up your bones, think again. Because while vitamin D is crucial for maintaining healthy bones, recent research has revealed that this...
Detox Your Drinking Water with a Microplastics Purge
We’re surrounded by plastics. They’re everywhere, from the obvious plastic shampoo bottle to the not-so-obvious clothing on our backs. From the moment we get up in the morning until we slide beneath the sheets at night, we are in contact with them. Heck, some bedsheets contain plastic fibers, so you may ALSO be exposed while...
The TRUTH About Word Finding Troubles
Picture this. You’re having a lively conversation with a friend, and suddenly, find yourself grasping for a word that’s just out of reach. You KNOW it’s in there somewhere, hiding in the recesses of your mind. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to pin it down. When you have trouble word...
FDA Finally Admits “BANNED” Soda Ingredient is Unsafe
I’m not a soda fan for MANY reasons. I wrote an entire book on the dangers of sugar, for example. And research links soda drinking to fatty liver disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and Alzheimer’s. And the diet stuff is no better. Fake-sugar-filled diet sodas cause “metabolic confusion,” and artificial sweeteners are...
Discover WHY We Accidentally Overeat (and How to Stop)
Picture this… You finish eating a nice meal feeling just fine. But then, 20 minutes later, you’re groaning and clutching your belly because you feel uncomfortably stuffed. If this sounds familiar, you’re in good company. Most of us have had this happen. Science reveals why accidental overeating occurs… and what we can do to avoid...
Find Exercise Exhausting and Painful? Try THIS Natural Fix
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: “You need to exercise.” And sure, you know how vital it is to healthy aging. But let’s be honest, sometimes it feels nearly impossible to get moving—especially when you know you’ll be sore for DAYS after. However, hold on to your seat because I’ve...